Should a Christian man (husband) show off his body?

Sorry guys, it is the ladies turn with this post. I've written several posts about the value and benefit of showing off a woman or wife's body. Now it is time to answer some of the ladies questions and talk about the value and benefit of showing off a man's (husbands) body. For many years, there has been a double standard in the western world's culture, where it is more acceptable for a woman to show off her body and more taboo for a man to show off. Hollywood has been showing fully nude women both front and back sides in movies for years, but showing a fully nude man from the front side has often been taboo (x rated). Culturally, it has been more accepted for a man to look at a naked woman and less accepted for a woman to look at a naked man. Is it wrong for a woman to look at a man's penis? What does the bible say about a man's penis?

Gen 17:13 "Every male born in your house or bought with your money is to be circumcised without exception. So my promise will be a sign on your flesh, an everlasting promise." What is a sign? A sign is a public display used to communicate a message. God chose the male penis to be a sign of a promise, an act of faithfulness that showed that these people belonged to God. Like a wedding ring declares that a person belongs to another, the circumcised penis was a sign that these men belonged to God. Did God really mean for the circumcised penis to be a sign that other people will see?

It would not be a very good sign if the penis was hidden and covered up. If we read the next verse  (Genesis 17:14), we learn more about what God expects, "Any uncircumcised male must be excluded from his people, because he has rejected my promise." How could people (men and women) exclude a man, if they could not see whether he was circumcised or uncircumcised? In order to obey and fulfill the instructions in Gen 17:14, the people would have to see a man's penis.

In 2 Samuel 6, there is a very interesting story about King David dancing in the streets wearing what appears to be only an ephod (a type of vest or chest covering). David's wife despised his careless actions and she confronts him when he returns home, (2 Sam 6:20) "you exposed yourself before the eyes of the slave girls of the palace, like a mindless fool might expose himself!" The reaction of David's wife (Michal) indicates that David exposed himself and was seen by other women (female servants working in the palace). It embarrassed David's wife that other women saw him. David explains that he was dancing before the Lord, and he goes on to say that even if he is humiliated in the eyes of his wife, he will be honored by the female servants. How does God react? In verse 23, we learn that Michal remained childless her entire life. A quick recap, a wife complains about her husband exposing himself to other women and God prevents her from having children.

The prophet Isaiah (Isaiah 20:3) went naked for 3 years based on a command from God, which was another sign for many people to see. That means that Isaiah was walking around showing off his body, which would have included his circumcised penis. Men and women would have seen him walking around. This was not wrong and sinful. On the contrary, Isaiah was doing what God wanted and he was obeying God and people were seeing what God wanted them to see. This was for a specific purpose, so I'm not saying that men should walk around naked for 3 years. But if God chose the circumcised penis to be a sign and God chose a naked man to be a sign, then maybe God is more comfortable using a naked man than we are seeing one. And maybe if God is choosing a penis to be a public sign, then maybe it is ok for a woman to see a naked man, including his exposed penis.

Should a Christian woman (wife) wear tight sexy yoga pants?

Is it right for a Christian woman (wife) to wear sexy tight pants that show off the form of her body?
Everywhere you look, you see women running around in tight compression pants, yoga pants, and skin tight leggings. I have even seen women wearing them to church. Some of these pants hug every curve and crevice of a woman's body, leaving very little to the imagination. These pants are turning men and women's heads, and attracting a lot of attention. I've heard some Christian women talk negatively about the women wearing these tight pants, saying that it is not appropriate. And then months later, I've seen these same women wearing similar tight pants.

Is there a bible verse that can tell us whether it is right or wrong for a woman to show off the form of her body, such as what happens when a woman wears skin tight pants?
The answer can be found in the Song of Songs (Solomon) chapter 6 and verse 13. A chorus of people in the presence of King Solomon call out to Solomon's wife and they say, "come back, come back, that we may gaze (look) at you." The entire book of Song of Songs is a love story between a husband (Solomon) and his wife (a Shulammite), which also includes a chorus of people at various times throughout the book. We don't have to guess they were looking at, because the very next verse Solomon starts to describe the beauty of his wife from Song 7:1-9. He describes her feet and the curves of her hips in verse 1. Her navel and belly are mentioned in verse 2 and her breasts in verse 3. The description of Solomon's wife's body happens over and over again through the book of Song of Songs. The detailed description of her body was pretty graphic for biblical times.

Cameras and televisions did not exist in Solomon's time. Instead, the media that was used to communicate with people was writings and songs. As you read through this book of Song of Songs, you discover that Solomon is proud of his wife and he is calling out to his friends, to the chorus to look at his beloved wife and how beautiful she looks. Furthermore, Solomon had this written down, so that other people would be aware of her beauty. God chose to preserve these truths in His Word and we have an entire book of the bible devoted to the love story of a husband and wife, which includes showing off and describing the body of a woman.

If King Solomon lived today and was the ruler of a modern nation, I believe he would be using our modern media (TV, Internet) to show off the beauty of his wife to the world, much like he did with the media that was available to him in his period of time.

If the bible can talk about the curves of a married woman's hips, and a chorus of people call out to the woman to come back so they can get a better look at her...then I think the bible not only allows a woman to show off her figure, but that it promotes it. There is an entire book of the bible (Song of Songs) that has been given to us as a guide and God's own Holy Word describes the form and shape of a woman's body several times.

One last thought, the chorus of people ask Solomon's wife to come back so they can look at her, which implies that she was leaving or at least moving away from them. It would appear based on the next sentence that Solomon's wife came back to them, because she asks them a question in the last part of verse 13. She basically asks, "Why do you want to look at me, and look at me in the same manner as an intimate (sexy) dancer?" Solomon's wife doesn't ignore the people's request, she is curious and goes back to ask them a question. In doing so, she is allowing them and giving them more time to look at her.

50 Shades of Submission

I thought the 50 Shades of Grey book series was just fad that would pass quickly. But the popularity of the book series, rumors of a Hollywood movie and the continued interest in the books by an ever expanding audience has led me to take a closer look at the interest and appeal of this erotic trilogy. This is not a book review; instead, I am interested in how this erotic literature is impacting marriages and views on sex. More specifically, how women are responding to the 50 Shades of Grey. Here are a few of my observations and thoughts for your consideration...

Sex Appeal - It is hard to deny the frequent and strong sexual content contained in the 50 Shades of Grey book series. If you were to remove the sexual content from the book, there really would not be much left. There is a reason that some people are calling this book series "mommy porn" and while the romance and love story are important part of this book...the romance and love story is not what is selling millions of copies. Let's be honest, 50 Shades of Grey is appealing to millions of women because of the sexual content and the way it is presented. I believe the popularity of this series shows that many women are very interested in sexual content, when it is presented in the right manner.

Strong Dominant Man - The primary audience for this book is women and the main character has to appeal to the audience (women) for the book to do well. Christian Grey (main character) is a strong dominant controlling man that clearly appeals to the millions of women that are reading and fantasizing over it. Interestingly, Christian display traits and charactersitics that go against what feminists and popular modern culture promotes as the "ideal man". He is not soft and gentle, quite the opposite as he dominates, whips and even inflicts pain for pleasure on Anastasia Steele (main female character). The success of this book makes me question if the mood and interests of women are starting to shift back to a more masculine man that knows what he wants and takes charge.

Submissive Woman - What surprises me most about the popularity of this book among women is that the main female character, Anastasia Steele, is portrayed as a submissive woman. The book does not soft sell submission; rather, the main theme includes a master-slave or dominant-submissive role with bondage (tied up), punishment, rules and a lot of controlling actions. Anastasia's love, respect and trust in Christian allows her to submit herself to him and as a result she experiences great sexual pleasure that she has not known before. As women read this book, they often identify with the main female character who introduces them to a submissive role. Based on the popularity of this book, it would appear that women are at least intrigued by the submissive role and the possible pleasure that can come out of submission.

Right Balance of Submission & Dominance - 50 Shades of Grey demonstrates that with the right balance the idea of submission is something that can be appealing to millions of women (70 million copies had been sold as of March 2013). Actually, it is more than just appealing...there are many women fantasizing, getting excited and turned on by the ideas in this book. I'm not suggesting that every women that reads this series will be interested or excited about being submissive. But if this series can help submission look appealing to even a fraction of these women, then that is a step in the right direction and something to celebrate. 

Protecting Your Head (Right to Lead)

    I was listening to a popular christian radio program promoting family values and I was disgusted by what I heard. Some women guests talked about the need for men to step up and lead, which on the surface sounds good. But as I listened to the tone and examined their words closer, it was clear that these women thought more highly of women than men. They respected what women were doing in the families and felt that the women needed help from their husbands. The problem according to them is that men are not being the spiritual leader that they need to be. Why is the problem always with the man?
   It is time for men to speak up and to block the attacks to our headship. For decades the media has been portraying men as weak, lazy, and the target of demeaning jokes. And now the attacks are coming from christian media as men are portrayed as the source of the problem. What if the problem is not with a lack of leadership, rather the problem is a lack of respect for authority? Lack of submission?
    As I look at the families around me, I see an overwhelming lack of respect for authority and the headship of man. I see a lot of strong women who are in control and unwilling to give it up. I don't see a society of submissive women, not even in the church.  How can a man lead his family when his authority and headship is attacked, when his wife refuses to submit to him?  At church, in my car listening to christian radio, at the movie theater, on TV, and everywhere I go I hear attacks on men...not respectful words. I agree that men need to step up and lead, but men need supportive and submissive wives. As soon as a man stands up to lead he gets attacked. He is judged and his right to lead and his choice of direction is questioned.
   We all need to stand together and start protecting the heads of families. Wives need to protect their husband's authority and respect him no matter what he does. We need to stop speaking negatively and blaming men (authority) for the problems in families. We need submissive and respectful women to step up and do their part in families. Maybe more men would lead if the women would give up control. Maybe there are more men leading than there are women willing to follow. If we want men to lead and be the head of the family, then we need to protect our head.

Courageous Husbands

   I just watched the movie Courageous. The movie did a great job promoting the importance of Fatherhood. It takes courage to be a man, especially in a society that promotes feminists ideals and gender neutrality. What are we teaching our boys and young men about manhood?
    If you want to be a courageous father, then I believe that you must be a courageous husband. Your son is watching your relationship with your wife. If you allow your wife to "wear the pants" in the family and to control the family, then what is that teaching your son? I see a lot of people blaming men for not  being the leader in the family and sometimes talking about how women "have" to lead. Do women ever "have" to lead...is that what the bible teaches?
    I think part of the problem in our homes today is that our wives have decided that they are equal in authority or using older language they have usurped the authority of men. When a wife decides that she needs to perform the role of a man, because she doesn't think you are, then what is she teaching your son about manhood? Too many women manipulate their husbands rather than supporting them. And too many men are afraid to confront their wife and to deal with the lack of submission. Husbands have been bullied into submission, into a passive role, and then blamed for not being active as a father.
    If you are going to take an active role as a father, then you will need courage to play an active role in your family. Courage to stand up to your wife when she puts you down or when she challenges your authority by questioning you. You will need courage to do the right thing when your wife doesn't support you. If you are going to teach your son how to be a man, then you need to "man up" to your wife...be a  courageous husband that is not afraid of his wife.

Respecting Your Wife's Body

I have been to several marriage seminars and one of the common themes is the need for men to respect their wife and to respect their wife's body. Even some of the comments to my blog postings has stirred questions about respect. I believe it is important for husbands to respect their wife's body.

I looked up several definitions of "Respect" and most of them define it is giving attention, consideration and high esteem to some person or thing. And the word "esteem" is defined as assigning value, worth and admiration. So when you put together those definitions you come up with 5 basic components of respect:

1. Giving Attention
2. Giving Consideration
3. Assigning High Value
4. Assigning Worth
5. Admiration

First, we give our attention to the things that we respect. The more we respect something, the more we pay attention to it. Paying attention to my wife's body is part of how I show respect. The second way I show respect to my wife is by thinking about her body. The word "consideration" means careful thought or taking into account. A husband can show respect to his wife by carefully thinking about her body and making plans that take's her body into account.

Third, respect is demonstrated by holding your wife's body in "high esteem". I value my wife's body as more important than my own. I often do the more dangerous chores around the house to protect my wife from the risk of bodily injury. My wife's body is worth more to me than the chores or work that she can do around the house. I probably assign a higher value and worth to my wife's body than she does. Last of all, I admire my wife's body. I enjoy and admire each and every part of my wife's body. When a husband admires his wife's body, he is showing respect to her body.

Unfortunately, the word "respect" has little meaning in the world today and many women use the word without understanding what it means. I believe it is time for men to stand up and to show respect to their wife's body and to teach people what it means to respect. It is good to give attention to your wife's body, to think about it (consideration), to value her body and assign it great worth. It is respectful to admire her body. Husbands should respect their wife's body in public, which includes paying attention to her and admiring her while they are out in public. Perhaps husbands should think and plan (show consideration) how they can admire her body in public.

A New Direction

It is time to change directions. I think we need more husbands standing up for the truth. We need men to take a stand for what is right, even though it is not popular. The Truth and marriage is under greater attack than I have ever seen before. Men have lost their freedom to be men, because it is not politically or socially correct.

I don't see any men standing up for the rights of men. Everyone talks about women's rights and minority rights, but where is the right for a man to lead his family? Can a man exercise his God given authority over his family? With authority comes power, so can any man use the power that God gave him to rule over his family?

What can a man do if his children won't listen to him and obey him? What can a man do if his wife won't listen to him and obey him? Discipline is a bad word in our society and some want to make any form of physical discipline an act of abuse. Men have to be very careful with what they do and what they say, because anything they say or do can be used against them.

The great men of the past that founded the USA would be rejected by our society. The great leaders who led our country, universities, and business would not have the freedom to do it again in this age. Why? Because strong powerful men with convictions are seen as a danger and threat to society. We have come a long way and we have rejected the truth so we can believe a lie.

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