The True Meaning of Modesty

I have heard many people claim that a decent Christian woman should dress modest. I've heard sermons about the importance of women dressing modestly. The two most common verses used as the basis for modest dress are I Timothy 2:9 and I Peter 3:3, usually from the King James version. Here is a more modern translation.

In I Timothy 2:9 the bible says, "I want women to show their beauty by dressing in appropriate clothes that are modest and respectable. Their beauty will be shown by what they do, not by their hair styles or the gold jewelry, pearls, or expensive clothes they wear."

In I Peter 3:3, "Wives must not let their beauty be something external. Beauty doesn't come from hairstyles, gold jewelry, or clothes."

Here is what most pastors are not telling you. First, the Greek word used to translate into the English word "modest" is "kosmios". The original Greek word simply meant to place in order, to arrange. The word kosmios actually comes from the Greek word "kosmos", which is where we get our modern word cosmos, universe, and world. The Greeks looked at the great kosmos/universe as something that was well organized and controlled by their many Greek gods. When the Greek word Kosmios was used, it reminded the ancient Greeks of the adornment of the stars in the sky, how carefully they were placed and organized.

Second, the context of the verses also help clarify the true meaning of the word modesty. Both verses immediately speak that beauty does not come from hairstyles, gold jewelry, or expensive clothes. The modesty concept taught in the bible does not concern itself with length of a skirt or how much skin is showing; instead, the verses focus on how expensive and rich the person is looking. It has more to do with finances and looking extravagant than how much skin was showing. Actually, a poor and person of modest finances would commonly have less clothing and might even go naked. It was common for the poor people to go naked, or mostly naked during biblical times.

Gold jewelry and expensive clothes defined the life style of the more wealthy people during biblical times. The emphasis taught in I Timothy and I Peter is that a Christian women should influence people by what she does, not what she wears. She should not try to impress someone by fixing her hair up really nice, putting on jewelry and nice clothes.

Ironically, if you walk into many churches throughout the country on a Sunday morning, you will see most women dressed up nicer than they get dressed the rest of the week. For some people, they have special clothes they wear on Sunday, they sometimes call them their "Sunday clothes" or "Church clothes". Kids are told not to get their church clothes messed up. Why? Because we want them to look nice.

It is rather sad that many churches and pastors have missed the true meaning of I Timothy and I Peter, in regards to how people should dress. He is not concerned with how much skin we are showing, remember He created us naked and said it was good. Instead, God is always concerned about how the riches of the world and influences of wealth affect our lives. He is less concerned with the outward appearance and mostly concerned with the inward, which is really clear in I Peter 3.

Based on historical information, we know the most modest financial person in ancient Greece or Rome would have been fortunate to own one piece of clothing. That clothing probably would have been torn, ripped, thin, and maybe pieced together from rags or fragments. That single garment was very important to a modest/poor person, as they were never sure when they would earn enough money to buy another piece of clothing. Therefore, it was common for the working class to remove that single piece of clothing while they worked, to protect it from further damage. The Bible even hints of this practice (John 21:7), as we find Peter had removed his clothing while he was fishing. More than likely, Peter did not want to get what might be his only garment ruined by the smell of fish, or worse torn by the sharp fish hooks. Therefore, the clothing worn by those of modest finances was probably more revealing than the clothing worn by the wealthier. Instructing a woman in the Greek/Roman culture to dress more modest would not result in her covering up more skin. It could result in her showing more skin.

Sex and Marriage Survey

While I was sitting here and pondering what to post next, I began to wonder how many people have encountered sexual issues in their marriage due to the religious teachings of one of the spouses. We often don't talk about sexual issues with other people, so I'm just curious if anyone wants to comment about their own situation or perhaps someone you knew.

Any comments or thoughts?

Bone of my Bone and Flesh of my Flesh

Observations from Adam about Eve
A long time ago before sin entered into the world, a perfect man was created and placed in the Garden of Eden. His name was Adam. He was a perfect man, without sin. He was alive spiritually and enjoyed the freedom to commune directly with God, which included walking in the garden and the very presence of God.

This perfect man was not designed to be alone, he needed a helper, someone to complete him. Therefore, God completed His creation of mankind by creating a perfect woman. God then brought this perfect woman before Adam, and here is what Adam said (Genesis 2:23):
This is now bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh.

A physical and fleshly relationship
I find it interesting that the first recorded comments about Adam's response to Eve focused on her physical and fleshly attributes. Adam did not say, wow what a spiritual woman. Nor did he say, finally a creation with a good personality and emotions that I can connect with. Instead, Adam said, wow she has flesh and bones like me. Or perhaps it was, wow she looks good.

Adam's words describes what he saw, and what he observed about her. Just two verses later, we are told they were naked and not ashamed. In the perfect world that God created, before sin was present, we find a marriage relationship that appears to be based on physical and fleshly characteristics.

They shall become One Flesh
In Gen. 2:24, we are told that the reason a man leaves his parents and cleaves to his wife is to become One Flesh. Once again, the emphasis is on the fleshly union of the man and the woman. There is no promise or mention of the two becoming one soul or one spirit. The union between a man and a woman is a fleshly union.

At this point in the Bible, sin has not entered the world. Therefore, we find that God's perfect will for marriage is a fleshly union between a man and a woman. If there was ever a perfect marriage between a man and a woman, it was between Adam and Eve, before sin entered the world. We know that perfect marriage relationship was based on the flesh and bones of two people becoming one flesh.

So, why do most churchs emphasize the spiritual side of a marriage relationship? Why do they ignore the physical and fleshly side of the relationship?

Key to a Happy Marriage

Proverbs 5:18-19 "...enjoy the girl you married when you were young, a loving doe and a graceful deer. Always let her breasts satisfy you. Always be intoxicated with her love."

One of the keys to a happy marriage is to always be satisfied with your wife's breasts. They don't preach or teach on this verse much from the pulpit, but it is a very important principle for married couples. One of the purposes of a wife's breasts is to satisfy her husband...God said so in Proverbs 5:19.

When and where? Some of my conservative brothers and sisters in Christ believe that a wife should only satisfy her husband in the privacy of their house, or bedroom. It should only happen at certain times, which probably are short in duration and not very often. In contrast, the Bible says that the frequency is always, not some of the time, or most of the time...but ALWAYS. At all times, which also implies in all places a wife's breasts should be satisfying to her husband.

Why? The answer to why is found in the next verse, Proverbs 5:20 "why should you...be intoxicated with an adulterous woman and fondle a loose woman's breasts?". The reason a husband is to be satisfied with his wife's breasts is so that he is not enticed by another woman's breasts. If a husband is pleased and satisfied with his wife, he will be less likely to get involved in an adulterous affair with another woman.

How? The bible does not specifically say how, but in the context of the verse there are a few hints. First, a wife's breast should be as appealing and tempting as the other women (see why above). The whole reason and purpose for the breast satisfaction is to prevent temptation from another woman, so arguably the wife should be equally satisfying in her attempts to please her husband. Second, what is the significance of a "loving doe" and "graceful deer" in verse 18? A doe (female deer) is a graceful animal that bounces and hops as they move. It is amazing to watch a doe run away, as the spring and bounce gracefully out of sight. For some reason, deer have a way of capturing our attention, as many car drivers will often slow down to look at a deer grazing along side the road. Perhaps the reason that a doe, or graceful deer was used in the context of breast satisfaction was to hint at the graceful bouncing and movement, which captivates the attention of man. In Song of Songs (Solomon) 4:5 and 7:3 it says, "your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle (deer like animal)".