More Thoughts on Lust

In Matt 5:28 Jesus says, "But I say unto you, That whoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart." What does this really mean?

First, it does not mean that it is wrong to look on a woman. We know that Jesus looked at women, healed women, spoke to women, and that women were active in His ministry. Some of the most important words in verse 28 are "to lust after her". When a man looks on a woman with a strong desire in his heart to commit adultery, Jesus said he has committed adultery in his heart.

The bad or wrong kind of lust talked about in Matt 5:28 is a strong desire to have sexual relations with a woman that is not your wife. Unfortunately, some pastors, teachers, and ministers have stretched the meaning of this verse to scare young men away from looking at women for fear of committing adultery. The intent and message that Jesus was teaching is that it is wrong to have strong desires for a woman that is not your wife, whether you act on those desires or not.

Looking at a woman with strong desires for sexual relations is a form of adultery. Looking at another man's wife and wishing she was your wife is a form of coveting. These desires are wrong according to the principles taught by Jesus in Matt 5:27-28.

However, looking at a woman and admiring her beauty, finding her attractive is not wrong, if there is no strong desire to have her for yourself or to engage in sexual relations. It is possible and I content that it often happens that men look on a beautiful woman with admiration for God's created beauty without strong sexual urges.

Consider this, in Song of Songs 6:13 a group of people say the following to the bride, "Come back! Come Back, young woman from Shulam! Come Back! Come back so that we may look at you!" Four times they ask her to come back so they can look at her.

In Gen 12:11-14, Abraham is afraid to go into Egypt because his wife is so beautiful he fears what they might do to him. In verse 14, "When Abram arrived in Egypt, the Egyptians saw how very beautiful his wife was." Sarah was so beautiful that she captivated the attention of the Egyptians and Pharoah. The bible does not condemn Sarah for being so beautiful, the bible does not instruct her to cover up or hide her beauty. In I Peter, Sarah is commended for her submission and obedience to Abraham.

My Thoughts
I do not believe that looking at a beautiful women is lust. I do not believe that seeing a woman nude is lust. It can turn into lust if you allow your mind to desire something that you should not have, but it is possible to look on a woman and not lust.

When I saw Janet Jackson's breast at the SuperBowl half-time show, I was shocked. However, seeing her naked breast did not create a strong desire inside me to have sexual relations with her or to desire to have her as my wife. I could watch replays of the event and not lust, as I imagine many men could do. I am frustrated that so many people complained about how evil it was to expose the breast, but few people condemned the violence towards women. That's another topic.

I can go to a topless beach, see women tanning with their breasts exposed and not lust. I might see an attractive woman and I might like what I see, but that does not mean that I have sexual desires. I understand that some men may have strong sexual desires seeing a topless woman, but I believe that many men can control those desires.

Lust is not always wrong

Lust is one of the most misunderstood words in the Christian terminology and often abused. If I said I lusted, most people would assume that I had sinned. But the bible actually uses the word lust for good things. The Greek word "epithumeo" often gets translated into the English word "Lust" and sometimes "desire". Here are some verses with the same word "epithumeo" or lust.

Matt 13:17 "For truly I say to you, that many prophets and righteous men desired (lusted) to see what you see..."

Luke 16:21 "and longing (lusting) to be fed with the crumbs which were falling from the rich man's table..."

Luke 17:22 "And He said to the disciples, the days shall come when you will long (lust) to see one of the days of the Son of Man, and you will not see it."

I Timothy 3: 1 "This is a true saying, if a man desires the office of bishop, he desireth (lusts) a good work."

The word lust or desire appears many times in the bible, in both good and bad ways. Yes, it is possible to have evil desires (lusts), but it is also possible to have good desires (lusts). God created mankind with natural desires and He expects us to have those desires. The Bible actually warns of danger (sin) when men or women turn from those natural God given desires.

When the greek word epithumeo (lust) is used in the bible, it is often used to describe a strong desire. In Luke 16:21 it is used to describe the strong desire for food from a starving person (not the mild hunger pains ). It is an intense and powerful desire, something that almost captivates the person.

Desires come in many shapes and sizes. Desires come in varying degrees of intensity. I desire to eat 2-3 times per day, but that desire intensifies when I have gone 1-2 days without eating. Is it wrong to desire food? Was Jesus not tempted with his desire for food after fasting in the wilderness? Obviously, Jesus as a man had desires for food and had to eat, and those desires were not sin. So that raises the question, at what point does a healthy God given desire turn into an unhealthy and evil desire?

Sex Honors God

Recently, I listened to a series by C.J. Mahaney of Sovereign Grace Ministries where he talked about sex honoring God. His wife also gave a speech at a marital conference regarding "Celebrating Marital Love". I have to admit that this was the first time that I have ever heard a pastor and his wife brave enough to speak candidly about sex and marriage from a biblical perspective.

God created sex for our pleasure. In Carolyn's message, she makes an interesting statement that God created the clitoris for one, and only one function...to bring sexual pleasure to a woman. God intended for sex to be pleasurable, that is why He created our bodies the way that He did. The Bible also tells us that He expected a husband and wife to daily give themselves to each other (I Cor. 7).

Sex is an important part of marriage and it something that should be celebrated. Christians ought to be one of the biggest proponents for sexual satisfaction. Our passion, love and commitment to our spouse should be clearly visible for the world to see. We should not be ashamed of our sexuality and the sex that we share with our beloved spouse.